


Circle (동행)

by easterngods



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Eventual Romance, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 09:28:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17505998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/easterngods/pseuds/easterngods
Summary: Five words Changmin used to describe Yunho throughout the years + one word he describes his hyung never was.Also, the word that Yunho wishes Changmin would be.





	Circle (동행)

“You have to be **_realistic_** , hyung.”

Yunho freezes in his place and sputters.

“What do you mean? I am realistic, that’s my middle name. Just call me Jung ‘Realistic’ Yun-,” he rambles as he tries to catch the younger man’s attention that was elsewhere now.

“Mhhm,” Changmin noncommittal as ever, finally finds a spot in their shared dressing room and splays himself carelessly on the vacant spot on the couch.

Yunho harrumphs at his dongsaeng’s dismissal of his protests.

“It costs nothing to dream.”

“It wastes our time to dwell on dreams that can never come true.”

Their conversation dies down and Yunho feels the familiar weight that overcomes him. The feeling of disappointment and defeat, but he shakes it off as something unimportant as he recovers his energy by putting on a smile and taking his permanent spot to the left of his band mate.

 

 

* * *

 

**_1._ **

 

A chorus of groans echoes across the getting stuffy dance studio.

“C’mon guys, once more from the top, just to do some last tweaking. I promi-,”

Lifting his head from the cooler surface of the floor, Junsu turns to lightly scoff at their leader, “ ‘I promise’ loses its meaning after three promises that this would be the last time, hyung.”

The chorus returns from the remaining three lying on the floor, a sound of tired agreement.

“I just want to perfect it before the showcase, guys. I swear this time-,” the young leader gives out a tired –albeit toothy smile when he was interrupted again. Not by a voice, but the presence of someone meeting his level, standing to meet his eyes.

Their youngest, the one who hasn’t said a word since the practice started, shakes his baggy pants from any dust that he collected from lying on the floor as he gets up to match the previously only standing boy. Yunho couldn’t place what the meaning of the gaze the younger was trying to convey. Whatever it was, it was anything but the tiredness from the other three. The only word he could use to describe it was _clarity_.

“If the maknae can still manage to indulge me, you guys can too.” Yunho playfully pleads once more, trying to lighten up the mood.

A last echo of groans bounces from the walls of the musky room, and the sounds of reluctant rustling of sweat-filled clothes soon followed as the trio followed in suit to stand alongside the duo.

“Only because there’s no use to having a teacher’s pet and favoritism if there aren’t others in the picture,” someone muttered under their breath and blush starts to creep up their youngest’s neck.

Yunho couldn’t figure out who the comment came from, but he laughs it off and hooks his arm around Changmin’s pinkish neck and ruffles his sweaty head. Changmin remains silent despite the attention and affection.

“He’s my favourite because he actually listens to me the first time I order something.”

“Should we be worried that the assigned leader actually admitted to favoritism?”

“Aigoo, but could you blame him,” Jaejoong starts as he nears the pair and coos at the boy currently locked between the leader’s arms, “our maknae is too precious to not be someone’s favourite.”

He tries to reach over to pinch the now also pink cheeks, but the supposed recipient instantly slaps his hand away and offers a glare, daring him to try again.

“Too bad I’m not his favourite,” Jaejoong sighs, dramatically placing his hand on his heart as he stalks away to grab his water bottle on the bench.

Junsu and Yoochun follow him to cool down before starting up again.

Now as the only ones left in the middle of the dance floor, Yunho loosens his grip around the boy, letting his arm just slackly resting on Changmin’s shoulders.

Changmin slightly looks up at his taller companion.

“What?”

Changmin quickly fixes his eyes somewhere else.

“Min, you know you can voice out whatever concerns you have. If you’re too tired, just say so, I know you’re only doing this because I’m older than you, but call me out if I’m pushing you too far. Hell, Junsu does all the time and he’s not much older than you-,“ Yunho rambles on as the boy under his arm continues to refuse to meet his eyes again.

“Do you think we’ll make it?”

Those were the first words the boy uttered since three hours ago. They were soft, but it was enough to break Yunho’s tangent.

“-I’m not a dictator-, wait, what?”

Changmin clears his throat and shakes Yunho’s arm off so he can stand across rather than beside him.

“I don’t mind the practices, but would it be worth it?” Changmin continues, eyes now downcasted.

Caught off-guard, Yunho pauses to think how to respond to the weighted question. Sensing the doubts weighing the younger’s shoulders and clouding his thoughts, Yunho picks up the smile he’s had the entire practice and adds cheeriness in his voice that he doesn’t know if it was genuine or not.

“Of course! There’s no success that didn’t come with a hefty price tag, same with hard work. There’s no effort that wasn’t rewarded in the end.”

Changmin finally looks up and gives a shaky smile.

“You’re always so **_optimistic_** , hyung.”

“Optimism keeps the world running, Changdola.”

The pair seemingly satisfied at each other’s responses smiles at one another for what seems like hours.

“Ok each other’s favourites, can we get this ‘last’ choreo tweaking over and done with so we can eat some salty ramen and shower?”

The two break their bubble and lets the others into their world again.

The four resume their starting positions as Yunho runs to rewind the music back to the beginning.

“They should really put up a window in here or something.”

 

* * *

 

**_2._ **

 

They were at the top of the world, if they weren’t, they were pretty damn close to it.

The roaring of the fans, the flashing lights, this was the fame that awaited them outside the cramped four walls of the studio; this was the fruit of sacrificing the comfort of their bed for the hardness of the floor they landed on every time they stumble through their choreography.

“Yunho-yah what do you have prepared for us today?” after a string of performances, appearances that day, the MCs blur into one annoying repetitive constant.

Changmin couldn’t for the life of him know who was talking to them right now, there were premeditated questions, and expected answers so he lets his mind wander. It’s not as if he would get the chance to talk more than the previous events earlier today, and it’s not as if he wanted to speak more anyway.

He senses the loss of the heat from his left side as he watches their leader rise to walk to the center.

He revels in the fact that there were less expectations for him, being the youngest has its perks and the one he cherishes the most is that he could sit back and appreciate their leader finally showing what he was capable of.

It was a sight he will never tire of. Watching their leader dance like his life depended on it, and he guesses it probably does, his hyung’s entire life was destined to stardom and having the entire nation in his palm.

As the song mix resonate its last beat, he hears the crowd cheer at the limelight’s occupant. On cue, he claps to express at least a fraction of his undying support to someone he has looked up to since the start.

When he feels the heat beside him return, he softly nudges the source with his elbow.

“Very **_charismatic_** as always, hyung,” he whispers.

This earns him a low chuckle.

“As always, I appreciate it, Changdola.”

 

* * *

**_3._ **

 

One moment he was laughing at some dumb comment Yoochun probably made, and in an instant, he was bending down, stomach in stabbing pain, and his throat in flames. He clutches both as he tastes a metallic liquid rise up his throat and lands in crimson as it hits the ground.

His sight was getting cloudy, the sirens and screams around him muffled. He guesses he passes out as he succumbs to the more welcoming silence and darkness.

Blissfully detached from the world, he knows he should be scared of the complete emptiness that surrounds him, but after the hustle and bustle he couldn’t ask for anything more relaxing.

However, this doesn’t last long as he regains his hearing. He hears sobbing and soothing words around him, but with his eyes refusing to leave his twisted paradise yet, he couldn’t place who and where it was coming from.

He can feel his body returning to its awareness of life, he suddenly feels the pain he thought he had left behind prior to his brief encounter with numbness. The ache in his stomach returns as well as the soreness of his throat. These pains have him clenching his eyes and the murmurs around him to full blown shouting.

“Get the doctor now!”

The shouting continues until what he presumes was the doctor enters and a new sharp pain on his arm subside the earlier ones.

It goes silent and remains black.

When he does regain full consciousness, five senses and all, the lights blind him and he feels sensitive all over.

“He’s awake!”

“Quick, get the doctor!”

“You get Mrs. Jung!”

All these voices messily greet him, he groans at his adjusting eyes, and again from the pain from his stomach and throat.

He tries to sit up, but a hand stops him, “Take it easy.”

He grumbles in response but continues his goal anyways. The hand returns to guide him, seeing as it was futile to go against the stubborn boy.

When he feels his eyes finally become accustomed to the light, he meets two pairs of eyes all on him.

Two pairs filled with worry and terror.

“I don’t think Yunho, after everything, appreciates being stared like he’s a ticking bomb,” a voice beside him tries to lighten the atmosphere; he presumes it’s from the person lending their hand earlier.

The two looks at each other and beyond him, at the owner of the hand on his arm keeping him up. They approach him carefully, afraid that he might break.

“I-,” he coughs, still feeling like his throat was in flames, the two stopped in their tracks immediately and their eyes revert back to the uneasiness from before.

He glares at them, “I’m fine, just haven’t talked in a while.” He beckons them over.

The two sighs in relief and goes back to walking over to the bed.

Yunho drops his glare and places a smile as he looks around at his members crowding him, until he realizes they were one short.

He tenses up, the hand on his arm feels it too.

“Okay, Min-ah, time to stop sulking in your corner, you can be an emotional teenager tomorrow, but your favourite just woke up. Come here,” Jaejoong from beside him calls over the youngest which he finally sees standing from the farthest corner of the hospital room. His eyes turned away from the four and not budging.

He forgets that other than himself, the title of the most stubborn in his group belonged to their relentless maknae.

He opens his mouth to call on the boy again, but a pain shoots up his throat making him cough hard.

He feels Jaejoong soothe his back as he hopefully coughs the pain away.

When he catches his breath, he looks up to see a venomous stare from the eyes that finally meets his. He loses the breath just as quickly as he had it.

“Changdol-,”

“You’re a **_lunatic_**!”

There was a simultaneous gasp from the remaining three. He feels the hand on his arm tighten and the two at the foot of his bed turns wide-eyed at the outburst.

“Yah! Chang-,” Jaejoong starts, but Yunho stops him with a hand on top of the hand still on his arm. He shakes his head and beckons the eldest to take the other two out and give them space.

The trio leaves the two with the tense silence.

They remain staring at each other, Changmin keeping his eyes in slits, and nose scrunched up in anger.

Yunho lets out a defeated sigh, “Are you going to stay quiet after claiming your bed-ridden hyung also needs to go to check his state of mind?”

Changmin only glares harder, if that was even possible.

“The least you can do is come closer; I can’t as you can see.”

Changmin does, just a bit, not completely beside Yunho out of spite; he stops at the end of the bed to ferociously continue his glare at the occupant of the bed.

“That’s progress I guess, but you still have to talk to-,”

“How stupid can you get?” Changmin spits at him.

“Excuse me?”

“Why would you trust anyone? Why did you grab that drink? You didn’t know her, hyung!” Changmin lets out one by one, suddenly not only angry remarks were coming out him as tears stream down his face.

Yunho finally gathers the situation and he start to hate himself. Not only did he bring himself physical pain, but he reduced one of the most important people in his life to emotional pain.

“Min, I’m so sorry, hyung is so sorry, please stop crying,” Yunho tries to reach for the crying boy, but it only brought him a sharp pain to his stomach.

Changmin stops crying instantly and rushes to his side.

“Hyung!”

He catches his hyung in his arms as he tries to soothe the pain. He places his hand on top of Yunho’s hand pressing on his stomach.

“I’m so sorry, hyung, wait I’ll get the doct-,”

“No, stay!” Yunho stops him before he could move, Yunho slightly spreads his fingers so Changmin’s would fall between the spaces and he could interlock them.

“Please just stay. Shout at me, but don’t leave me.”

Changmin stops immediately and tightens their hands as he guides his hyung back to laying down.

This proved to place him into an awkward position. He tries to remove his hand, but Yunho, not ready to lose Changmin’s attention on him so soon, scooches over to the other side to attempt to make room on the already small hospital bed.

“Hyung, we won’t fit.”

Yunho pulls on their interlocked hands, “Humor me.”

Gingerly, Changmin lays himself on his side, arm now around Yunho’s stomach as their hands remained tightly clasped.

“So what was it about hyung being a lunatic?”

Changmin places his chin on Yunho’s shoulder and puffs out air into his ear. Yunho squirms, Changmin pouts.

“Only a lunatic would land himself to the hospital after taking a drink from a stranger.”

“Point taken, and hyung is very sorry.”

Changmin lifts his head to look at his hyung in confusion, “Why are you sorry? She should be sorry, you almost died!”

Yunho turns his head slightly and uses his free hand to bring the younger’s head back down to nuzzle his neck.

“I’m not sorry to her, I’m apologizing to you. Hyung got his maknae worrying when that should be the other way around.”

He feels the pout worsen against his neck.

“If I don’t worry for you, would you worry for yourself?”

Yunho has realized throughout the years that the younger man had a knack of asking questions that were almost rhetorical in their difficulty to answer.

His free hand finds their way to Changmin’s hair and combs their way through them. He doesn’t answer and supposes this was the most honest response he could give.

They end their conversation there, and he carries on to run his fingers through Changmin’s hair until they fall asleep lulled by each other’s breaths.

That’s the position they were found in hours later when the other three returned to pick up the youngest when visitation hours were over and to clean up whatever mess the pair must have made during their fight.

All they saw was Changmin’s protective arm around their leader, and the leader’s hand resting on the younger’s head as if blocking the light from disturbing his sleep.

They left them be, turned off the lights and walked out.

 

* * *

 

**_4._ **

 

They left them in their rooms to avoid any further confrontations. They turned off the lights on their now past, empty rooms, and walked out, but not forgetting to leave their three spare keys on the table.

At the last click of the front door, Changmin can feel the finality of the split. He gazes at his closed door, debating whether it was the appropriate time to leave his room to check up on the remaining tenant in the dorm.

It was fifteen minutes later and still with his eyes on the doorknob, he hears footsteps out in the hallway leading to the living room. He gets up quickly to grasp the doorknob to turn it and meet his new fate.

As his clammy hands comes into contact with the cold metallic surface, he then hears sounds of shoes being put on and the front door opening and closing again.

In a span of an hour, four people walked out on him. If he didn’t feel lonely earlier with knowing there was one person left in the big dorm, when he leaves the confines of his room and walks down the hallway seeing four empty rooms; he certainly feels helplessly alone now.

He fixes up a quick meal with whatever hasn’t gone bad yet in their fridge and sits himself on the too big dining table overlooking the too big dorm for just the two of them, if there even was two still.

He wonders if he should fix a meal for his remaining hyung, but he doesn’t even know if he still has a hyung that would come back to him. He blows on his steaming food. Suddenly he felt full, not satisfactorily stuffed, but uneasily full of what ifs and uncertainty that forcing any more food he doesn’t know what would come out and where it would come out.

Changmin remains seated in that too big table for what may have been hours, spaced out with nothingness in his mind. No new lyrics to memorize, no new choreography to perfect, three less and maybe four less people to block out whenever they get too loud. The sun sets right before his eyes, the moonlight casting a glow in the too big apartment.

He hears the rustling of keys outside the front door. It could be their manager checking up on them, in which he wouldn’t be able to say where Yunho was. Not even optimistic to think it was Yunho coming back, he gets up and sets his unfinished dish on the sink to wash. The sounds of someone trying to pry open the door continues, it was probably one of their deranged fans.

Before he could rinse the soap, he hears banging and a thud which ended the sounds of whoever was trying to get to the other side. Changmin drops the ceramic in surprise, he receives a familiar grunt.

Leaving the broken dish aside, he clambers to open the door.

When he opens the door, he unexpectedly lets in –a previously leaning on the door– Yunho, reeking of alcohol.

“Hyung, wha-,” Yunho’s head drops loudly on the floor.  Changmin winces on his behalf.

Yunho with half-opened eyes looks up at the pained expression of their – no his youngest, he has a somber expression that only worsens when Changmin just continues to look at him quizzically.

“What? Have you never seen a man at his lowest point?”

Changmin snaps out of it, and didn’t offer a response, just bends down to pull his hyung completely inside.

The older man struggles out of his hold, refusing to be helped. Changmin kicks the door shut. He barely makes it past the entryway.

“Hyung, get in before anyone sees, let’s talk inside.”

“So, what? So, what if they saw me? Are you embarrassed of me? Are you going to leave me too?” Yunho continues to try to escape from Changmin’s hold on him.

“No, hyung, the fans, please we’ll talk-,” Changmin tries to calm his hysteric hyung, only to be interrupted again.

“What fans? Do you think they’d stay? Everyone leaves, Min. There’s nothing and no one left, better they see me like this now so they can leave sooner and spare me,” he slurs out and points at his chest hard.

Changmin finally releases him, dropping him near the entrance of their living room. He feels his hands shake, his whole body feeling invisible yet so exposed. This takes a toll on his balance as he lets himself slide down the wall, sitting beside the older man.

“Then what am I?”

Yunho didn’t hear him, suddenly feeling the pain caused by the collision of the back of his head to the floor.

Changmin drops his head in his hands, growing frustrated and feeling tears threatening to fall if he doesn’t close his eyes tightly fast enough. He refuses to let Yunho see, if he would even notice, that he has the power to break him like this.

“Hyung.”

Yunho looks over at the balled-up boy to his left once he found the sore spot near the base of his neck.

“What am I?”

Yunho doesn’t know how out of it he was, but he couldn’t understand what the younger man was asking.

“What the fuck are you on about?”

Lifting his head from his knees, Changmin lets out a scoff, “No matter what I do, I really am still invisible to you, huh?”

Yunho sits up, the pain and confusion were too much for him to handle.

“You’re not the only one who was abandoned, you prick,” Changmin growls and launches himself to Yunho, pushing himself back down. His head colliding on the wooden surface again. Changmin pins him to the ground.

He grumbles in pain and was ready to throw the man on top of him off, when he feels liquid hit his face. Opening his clenched eyes, he sees Changmin’s clenched ones.

“Min-,”

“You weren’t the only ones they left, why are you acting like you were the only one. Why are you acting like everyone left?”

“Min-,” he tries again, but the man on top just grips his shoulders tighter.

“I’m still here, I didn’t leave! Why can’t you see?” More tears roll down and hits Yunho’s cheeks. He tries to bring his hands to grab Changmin’s face. He cups them as much as he can, remembering how this chiseled face used to be squishier with the baby fat Changmin lost throughout the years they were together. He hasn’t looked at this face for so long, it was so familiar yet so foreign.

He pulls the younger man down by his face, closing his own eyes in the process, bringing their foreheads together.

“I didn’t leave, but it feels like you left me.”

Yunho presses their foreheads together even more, “I would never dream of it.”

Changmin brings his hands beside Yunho’s head to push himself up. He stares at Yunho. Yunho sees the common stare he’s received from the other throughout the years, the clear stare through his soul that until now he didn’t know what it meant. He knew now, it was the meaning of _understanding_.

Feeling naked under his maknae’s intense stare, Yunho brings Changmin’s head back down, now to rest on his chest.

“You’re so **_dramatic_** , hyung. Thinking everyone’s left you. When the only one that matters is still here,” Changmin taunts into his chest.

Yunho chuckles, sobering up even more, he pats Changmin’s head, “Speak for yourself, Changdol.”

Before the younger man could retort, he lifts his head slightly to bestow a soft kiss on the youngest’s head as they remained on the floor on their too big apartment.

That’s how their manager sees them the next day.

It’s the position where Yunho looks up, brings the hand not in between Changmin’s hair, to his mouth shushing their manager looking incredulously down at them. Changmin was still sleeping.

“Let us be a duo, hyung.”

 

* * *

 

**_5._ **

 

75 000

That’s how many people cheered for them, deafening cheers that he swears were still ringing in his ears. It was surreal then, when they were given the news of the opportunity to hold the concert at that stadium, - at that magnitude.

_“Nissan Stadium.”_

_That was all that was uttered from the Avex representative himself as he clicked the control to reveal a single slide of just the famed stadium. The room grew silent, and all the pairs of eyes continued to stare at him, unblinking with pure confusion._

_It went on for a solid ten minutes before the silence was unbearable, and the question of what that meant for them still hung in the air. Yunho knew he had to break it, he needed a confirmation that he wasn’t dreaming. That there was a possibility that they have reached the pinnacle of their dream._

_“Sorry? Come again?”_

_The man at the other end of the conference table slowly bared his teeth into a knowing grin._

_“Nissan Stadium, Yunho-san. Congratulations.”_

_Their staff finally caught wind of the reality of the statement when the man continues the presentation with logistics of the upcoming event._

_Yunho sunk back in his seat and willed his heart to calm down. He knew his smile was the widest he had ever expressed. Then he finally realized the ongoing silence of his companion beside him._

_“Changdola, close your mouth, you need to take care of that so the whole 75 000 people can hear you loud and clear,” Yunho poked fun at the still bewildered younger man frozen in place. He reached out and closed it for him, and let his finger lingered upon the collecting stubble chin._

_Changmin closed his eyes and soaked in the little warmth Yunho’s finger was giving him. Lifting his own hand, he grabs hold of the finger, trapping it inside his calloused hands._

_“Nissan Stadium, hyung.”_

_“Yes, Nissan Stadium.”_

It is still surreal now, surreal that he could have ever felt this high. His body hasn’t stopped trembling with aftershock of the adrenaline that coursed through his veins for almost four hours. He should be tired, but he has bubbling energy that he just can’t shake off. He plans to give an ounce of that everlasting energy to every hug and gratitude he gives to the staff that passes by him.

He’s probably hugged three-quarters of their hundreds of staff already, yet the one person he wanted to desperately envelop in his arms and never let go off was nowhere to be seen.

Yunho tries to make his way through the crowd of staffs patting each other on the back while also flashing a smile and thumbs up to one-half of the famed duo.

He finally spots the person he was longing for across the corridor, wrapped in his own conversation, but seem agitated to be somewhere else too. Their mouth keeps up with whatever the topic of conversation was, but their head was too busy scouting for a certain person too.

“Changminnie!” Yunho raises his hand to catch the attention of the younger.

Changmin’s head follows the owner of the voice and locks eyes with Yunho. Spotting each other finally, Changmin’s eyes breaks into uneven slits that Yunho adored so dearly. He politely excuses himself from the conversation and makes his way towards his partner.

“You found me!” Changmin lets out, breathy and full of mirth. His smile widens as Yunho didn’t waste any more time to encase him in his arms. Changmin wraps his own arms around Yunho’s torso in return, feeling so perfectly fitted against the man’s body.

Yunho buries his nose further into crook of the taller man’s neck. Breathing in the familiar scent he’s grown accustomed to throughout the years and filed as the scent the one that makes his heart beat the fastest.

“It’s not that hard to find you, Min-ah.”

Changmin chuckles and tightens his hold around Yunho, “Ah, is that so?”

Yunho pulls back slightly and brings his hands to cup the chiseled face of his most precious person.

“75 000 people around us, but I could only see you.”

Changmin gives him a watery smile, accompanied by a slight chuckle and a playful hit on the arm.

“Ever the _**romantic**. _You know I hate it when you’re like this.”

Yunho pinches Changmin’s right cheek and snorts at him, “That’s a weird way of saying you love me when I shower you with love and compliments.”

Changmin groans and tries to get out of Yunho’s hold.

“More like unnecessary and gross pick-up lines.”

“And why is it unnecessary?”

Changmin blushes and finally frees himself from Yunho’s arms, he looks around the room realizing that they were still amidst hundreds of people.

Yunho rolls his eyes and takes Changmin’s hand and pulls him through the crowd and to anywhere that has no more than two people in the vicinity.

“I repeat, and why is it unnecessary?” Yunho repeats again as he lets go of Changmin’s hand in favour of backing his partner onto a wall, blocking both sides of Changmin’s head with his arms.

Changmin blushes and gives Yunho an unguarded peck on the lips.

“You don’t need to pick me up, you already have me.”

Yunho, more than pleased with the answer flashes Changmin a bright smile and recaptures Changmin’s retreating lips.

If they were late for the toast led by Sam-san, or most of the party at this point, they have a good excuse.

Yunho slides his left hand to bring Changmin’s lips closer this him, while his right hand finds comfort in caressing Changmin’s side. He opens his eyes once, absorbing the face that has been beside him all these years and hopefully for more. He didn’t need a long look, already having memorized every inch of Changmin’s face, he smiles through the kiss and closes his eyes once again. That’s the most important sight he’ll ever experience,

Changmin appreciative of Yunho’s endless knowledge and expertise in what makes his body wild and insatiable, lets out a slight moan that was swallowed in their kiss. Yunho breaks the kiss and Changmin whines in response. Yunho chuckles and kisses every space on his face, trailing down towards his neck.

Reaching the space just below his right ear, Yunho kisses it tenderly once and retreats back slightly near the ear.

“Thank you and I adore you,” Yunho whispers and continues down Changmin’s neck, on a mission to not let one area of skin go neglected.

So, if they didn’t see the staff that opened the door to check in on them before hurriedly leaving the room upon seeing their compromising position and didn’t hear the knocks and the clanking of champagne flutes, they have a credible excuse.

 

* * *

 

**_+_ **

 

The drive home was unusually quiet. Not unusual because it was quiet, having since talked each other’s ears off for the last fifteen years, but unusual because of the cold tension that looms over the silence.

The tapping of their manager’s phone couldn’t help distract Yunho from his focus at the head of the man in the passenger seat in front of him. His eyes scan down to the wrist holding up that head, spotting the silver chain clasped around. He’s familiar with it, obviously familiar with it, having picked it out especially and exclusively for its owner.

It made him sigh.

As the chain twinkles ever so often as some of the light still managed to make it pass their tinted windows, there’s a sense of annoying ache in his heart that throbs along to the shine.

“Is it that bad to be **_idealistic_**?”

He didn’t even realize his thoughts were no longer thoughts until he saw the previously tilted head shot up.

Might as well dig a deeper hole for myself, he thought, and sighed once more before continuing.

“To dream of normalcy, to dream of contentment, to dream of us.”

Yunho notices Changmin freeze, and he can sense the temperature in the moving van drop even colder.

Yunho needed this. Needed to lay out his cards, be transparent and maybe trigger his partner to drop his veil too and let him inside.

“Idealism never pays off, it’ll only lead you to pain, hyung,” Changmin finally answers, his voice passive, not showing whatever emotions are stewing in his fragile heart and the thoughts brewing in his pretty head. Yunho knows him so well, too well, it hurts.

Yunho wanted to break him down, he wanted to shake him and tell him pain is okay.

“You’re saying this as if I won’t gladly take all that pain for myself-“

Changmin cuts him off, wildly turning back to face him, “That’s the thing, hyung! I know that. Oh my god, I know you would. And that’s not what I want.”

Yunho sees the what ifs in his maknae’s expressive eyes. Changmin may have always been a master in pretending it’s okay, all fine, with his stoicism when needed, but his eyes are both his gift and curse. Changmin may say one thing, but his eyes are always a dead giveaway if he actually meant the opposite.

“There’s one thing to be in pain, to handle the hate, but to see someone else you love more than yourself go through the same thing –it hurts,” Changmin’s voice fades along with opacity of his emotions.

The van parks into the underground parking lot. Their manager, –bless his soul –, sends Yunho a look as they give them privacy.

“The reality is never better than our dreams, hyung. Please, don’t let our dreams be ruined by the harsh truth,” Changmin begs.

Yunho unbuckles his seat belt and goes closer to his maknae. He takes Changmin’s face into his palms.

“Dream or reality, as long as you’re there, Min-ah. That’s more than enough for me.”

They stare into each other’s eyes, seeing each other’s sincerities. Then Changmin, he lets out a giggle.

“You’re a cheese.”

“And you’re a tease, we’re even.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this one-shot for months. This holds such a special place in my heart. 
> 
> I hope you all liked it! ♡♡


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